It's almost 2017, so I'm confident that you've got a crisp agenda you can't wait to fill with inspirational quotes written in brush stroke fonts in the margins around your colour coded bullet-journaled goals. I don't mean that patronizingly. I'm just as excited for that - buying stationary and school supplies (despite not being a student) is goddamn exhilarating, I won't fight you on that. And in today's world, you need to be a goal-setting & crushing machine. You've listened to your umpteenth Tony Robbins seminar, you've read Chapter's entire Well-Being/Self-Help Section - and you're fired up.
But, I think goals can be detrimental. Even typing that felt blasphemous because I have been so conditioned to have #goals. However, they're often rigid, from beginning to end. We've been told they need to be specific, measurable, actionable, time-based all to increase adherence. I'm going to lose 15 pounds by February 19th at 5:02 AM by doing 7.2 hours of acroyoga classes per week.
Should you stray even one millimetre off course, you feel dejected. On the flip side, sometimes you achieve your goal and encounter Success Depression, where you ask yourself "Is this it? This is all there is?" You shed blood, sweat and tears, and bent over backwards to get to the top of Goal Mountain. Wasn't there supposed to be everlasting satisfaction at the summit? You're proud for twenty seconds, the triumphant high is short lived. Or maybe you missed an incredible opportunity along the way because your goal inflicted inflexibility - if you hold on too firmly to how something should come about, I think you miss the journey looking too unwaveringly at the destination.
It's more beneficial to set intentions - by all means, have dreams and desires but don't be so bogged down by the details. As Caroline Myss said "Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that's trying to work it's way into your consciousness." Now, I'm not trying to entirely demonize goals and resolutions. Their basic concept is necessary! I just think they need a bit of tweaking - have a target, else you'll have no where to aim your arrow. However, I think the primary downfall of goals is they are outcome-driven. Defining goals defines your limitations. Focus on learning, living and embracing the journey - taking account of what is and isn't working, and continuing to move forward instead of thinking "Fuck, I failed" or "Goal achieved. I'm done here."
There is no finish line. There would be no fun in that! As a human, you're constantly evolving and naturally developing new desires and tastes. So, how can you set five and ten year goals for yourself today? Or resolve to conduct yourself in a specific manner for the entirety of the year? I don't even know what I want for breakfast tomorrow, so I definitely do not know what 29 year old me wants. A short-term goal doesn't allow a realistic window to determine "success", and a long-term goal isn't exciting or motivating. Strive for continual improvement, then you don't underestimate your potential or overestimate your capabilities within a certain timeframe, you just keep going and getting better.
Don't romanticize the fantasy of what will make you happy, either. "Stumbling on Happiness" author Daniel Gilbert said that humans are fundamentally bad at predicting what will make them happy. "Happiness can't just be getting what you're aiming for, or we'd all be happy." The declaration of Independence offered these as inalienable rights: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
So, set your sights. Ask yourself why you want it. And enjoy the pursuit.
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