"What day is it?" I asked. "I don't know," my friend said, giggling. "If it's not the first or the fifteenth, I don't know."
I find myself talking more and more about money. With more and more people. Rarely does the conversation pertain to being very well off, without debt or without struggle. It seems everyone's living for payday. We indulge in recollection of the past, the carefree years, when direct deposit hit and was eagerly exchanged for a shopping spree. Now, as adults, we barely feel like we get paid. We just pass our paycheque briefly from the hand of our employer to the hand of our bill collectors.
My friends and I playfully tag each other on Facebook memes. "Ever been so broke you had sleep for dinner?" and the like. However, even in jest, constantly dwelling on your lack of money can have unsavoury consequences. Beating the drum of what you don't have tends to only magnify what's "lacking" in your life. Have you ever noticed how depleting and consuming it is to worry about money? It is a huge part of .... Being a human. You pay for virtually everything, and it is sometimes demoralizing trading your time for money (especially if it's at a job you hate) just to get by. It feels like a never ending hamster wheel. Work, scrape by, work, scrape by ....
I have been working what seems like everyday, between two jobs, for about a year. Its almost impossible to find something full time in this economy, and having the demands of two employers while trying to have a life is daunting. It was emotionally exhausting having my hours cut dramatically with no warning every few months, while still having to pay the same bills. This has been wearing down on me for too long, and you can only throw yourself so many lavish pity parties before you decide enough is enough. Whether you subscribe to the concept of the law of attraction or not, bear with me. Listening to a spiritual teacher of sorts called Abraham Hicks (I can't explain who they are without sounding insane, so just watch them on Youtube, will ya?) lead me to understand that I was afflicted with ... Scarcity thinking.
So, what is a mindset of scarcity? It may be something you were raised with, or something you learned due to some extraneous circumstances or happenstances. It is believing, and speaking as if you do not already have enough. The crazy thing is we hope we can generate more by complaining about the lack thereof. I am so broke, I have no money, I can't afford that. And yet, don't we all want more money? Not necessarily millions, but enough to live comfortably at least! We need to start talking in a way that encourages that, then. Money is simply an energy exchange, don't complicate it beyond that. You expend energy to own things someone else expended energy to create.
1. Start by not engaging in the bonding activity of complaining. We love to know other people's lives suck sometimes too, so we get together and have complaining competitions where we compare student loans, mortgages and credit card bills. STOP. Law of attraction aside, complaining is just terrible for your mental health and it's a black hole that's hard to escape.
2. The secret to having it all is realizing you already do. Start reaching for feelings of appreciation. I know it can be all-consuming when "owing" and "bills" and "debt" swarm you, but drown that out with lists of things you have to be appreciative of! It's cliché, I know. Gratitude journaling, Nicolette? So passé. I promise you it's an easy way to pull yourself out of wallowing and worrying. You have a lot to be happy about, don't let money - an arbitrary, fictional number harnessed in the intangible matrix - make you lose sight of what's really important.
3. Speak as if you were rich already. Put yourself in a state of feeling like you truly are financially stable right now. This positivity, this mindset of abundance and allowance, will drop the resistant wall of scarcity you've put up and let money flow to you more easily. You'll see it when you believe it! And a belief is just a thought you keep repeating. Are you being delusional, unrealistic? Maybe. But is that any worse than facing "reality" and droning on and on about being poor?
Now, for something a more pragmatic, if the energy thing wasn't resonating with you.
4. It's time for tough love! Why the hell are you always broke!? I was just continuously whining about always being poor and I had "no idea why". My boyfriend then gently pointed out that I purchase a chai tea latte (plus tip) everyday from Analog, as well as a kombucha from Amaranth, or a lemonade from Juice Because. That's about $12/day or $360/month. I also insist on doing CrossFit instead of going to a regular gym, $210/month. I buy "little" grocery items, every few days instead of one big grocery haul, coming in anywhere from $100-180/week. And that excludes my phone bill, credit card bill, car insurance, gas money, parking stall rent ....
OHHHHHHH, that's why.
5. Make a budget. I know, spending whatever you want, never checking your account and holding your breath waiting for the APPROVED message is fun and all, but it's time to start adulting. You can even print off super cute budgeting sheets from Pinterest, is that incentive enough? Before you make a budget beyond fixed expenses, for one week, write down every single thing you buy. You will gag, I promise you. You'll want to punch yourself in the face when you see how many times you pop into Shopper's for floss and leave with magazines, a blush, white strips, lip balm, that new body lotion you read a celebrity uses, a pack of gum at the till and your tenth bottled water that week. ALSO, make treat yo' self a real thing. A treat implies it's infrequent, a rare occasion. Pretty sure I was saying treat yo' self every 36 hours.
6. Shop with intention. Are you buying clothes every time you're at the mall? Wait, why are you at the mall!? I thought you were broke, bitch! QUIT IT. It's 2017, we're all about minimalism, sustainability and low environmental impact, remember? Declutter, make some money consigning your clothes, and only shop for pieces that have purpose, intention and add value. This also goes for food. Are you buying specialty items at the grocery store you never end up using? Shopping when you're hungry? Are you grabbing takeout again because you keep forgetting to defrost that chicken breast? Dedicate one or two days to meal-prepping! Pre-plan so you only buy ingredients you NEED.
My tip: Watch Friends while you're preparing food, the time flies by when mindless humour is involved.
I hope this helps you lovely people in some way. I wanted to share this because my mental health has been shit because of financial stress; and for what? I'm panicking, crying over money?! How useless. I know it affects a lot of people, keeps a lot of people up at night, puts a rift it a lot of relationships, makes a lot of people worry, and fear, and dread. And I hope I've convinced you it's just not worth it.
Got some money/abundance tips? Leave me a comment xoxo
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