Today, the word f e a r l e s s n e s s struck a chord in my heart.
It's typically a buzzword I read and scroll by, but the theme of F E A R has been
so dominant in my life lately, that it jumped off my screen. Scared of the topic of careers coming up in casual conversation, scared of the haunting negatives in my bank account, scared of my family and friends' and strangers' opinions, scared of not pleasing people.
Well, fear is damaging and exhausting. It's probably the lowest vibrational feeling, and at this point I'm just fed up with feeling it. Change happens when you're finally sick of your own shit, am I right?
I joined Kori Leigh's "A Course in the Ritual of Self Care", a nine week endeavour that covers every topic of selfishness you can imagine from eating consciously, shopping mindfully, caring for your body, mind and soul; self love and self love (okay fine, masturbation). The mantra that comes to my mind for this course is you can't pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first.
I need this course fiercely - since childhood, I have been consumed with making everyone else happy and through their approval, I thought I would feel happy and loved; a cop out for having to do the work and love myself. I have more recently been trying to reverse that engrained programming. I have realized that my fear is probably stemming from my absence of control, because I cannot control how people react, respond, feel towards me (etc.) and I cannot use them to fuel my tank.
Another lesson I'm learning is that NO is a complete sentence. I always follow no with a lengthy justification because I fear a certain person's anger or frustration or disappointment - I think we all dislike conflict, but now I've decided that ain't nobody got time for that. I have about 100 running tabs of things I'm anxious about, so any tab I can close is a win in my books. If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no. If someone asks you to go to a party, or watch their pet while they're away or take the office job position and saying yes causes you to groan internally, then you are doing a disservice to everyone involved. I read a line in Hamlet saying "Rich gifts wax poor when the giver proves unkind" and for the purpose of this context, you can think that a nice favour done for someone becomes not so nice when the person doing the favour proves to be bitter and annoyed to do it 🙄 So, save both parties the resentment and just say no. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Life is too short to do shit you hate and too short to be afraid to say no to shit you hate.
Next up on Fear Factor: Self-Doubt.
As someone who wants to branch out as an entrepreneur, or even delve into uncharted career territories in general, I can no longer harbour self-doubt. I'm soon to be hosting a seminar and I'm scared that no one will come, or no one will enjoy it or blah blah fucking blah ... Seriously. I need to stop. Believing deeply that what you have to offer to the world is valuable and worthy is essential. If you don't believe it, how the hell do you expect anyone else to? You got the education, you perfected the product, or whatever the case may be -- get on with your bad self! What you're offering is valuable as fuck. So, don't be scuuured (P.S. In the picture below, replace anyone with yourself)
I'm 24 years old, I have a holistic nutrition diploma and I work at a retail level. Whenever I meet new people, who typically in Calgary introduce themselves as accountants, engineers or neurosurgeons, I want to crawl into the nearest hole and die. I feel grossly inadequate and embarrassed to say where I'm at in life. I usually blush, inaudibly mumble my response and change the subject. But you know what? No one has ever scoffed, or wiped their hand off after shaking my 'inferior peasant' hand. Our fear of other people's judgement is typically just a reflection of our own deep rooted insecurities and perceived short comings. If we deeply accept ourselves, we will look people in the eyes, firmly shake their hand and confidently tell them about ourselves. Love and fear can not reside together, so choose to love yourself, okay?!
Man, I could go on and on about fears, but I'm going to cap it off with one more. Money.
I know you've heard it all by now, but I'll just fill you in on where I am currently. I feel like I get paid, and spend it all in the same day. My paycheques just barely cover my bills and the stress/worry is omnipresent. I watched a video the other day; a mother of two with $8 in her account and a notice in the mail saying her electricity will be turned off was offered $5,000 with the option of giving it to a woman who just lost her father, and spent exorbitant amounts on travel for the funeral. She gave the money away saying "I lived without it yesterday and the day before, and I will be okay without it now." I was stunned by this mentality - that is living in gratitude, faith and abundance. Giving when you have nothing. If you f e a r never having enough, if you live in scarcity and beat the drum of not having enough/"I'm broke", then that story will continue to repeat itself. I've decided I'm done being afraid of arbitrary numbers floating in the banking system cyberspace. That's not what humans came here to be preoccupied by, and yet it enslaves and terrorizes the majority of us! You can't invite more by constantly acknowledging a lack. Fear gathers momentum, it snowballs. It's easy to stay in the place of always complaining, worrying and dreading. But it's time I rewrite my money story, and edit fear out.
So, who's ready to be F E A R L E S S ?
Tell me your biggest fears and how you overcome them!
Another lesson I'm learning is that NO is a complete sentence. I always follow no with a lengthy justification because I fear a certain person's anger or frustration or disappointment - I think we all dislike conflict, but now I've decided that ain't nobody got time for that. I have about 100 running tabs of things I'm anxious about, so any tab I can close is a win in my books. If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no. If someone asks you to go to a party, or watch their pet while they're away or take the office job position and saying yes causes you to groan internally, then you are doing a disservice to everyone involved. I read a line in Hamlet saying "Rich gifts wax poor when the giver proves unkind" and for the purpose of this context, you can think that a nice favour done for someone becomes not so nice when the person doing the favour proves to be bitter and annoyed to do it 🙄 So, save both parties the resentment and just say no. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Life is too short to do shit you hate and too short to be afraid to say no to shit you hate.
Next up on Fear Factor: Self-Doubt.
As someone who wants to branch out as an entrepreneur, or even delve into uncharted career territories in general, I can no longer harbour self-doubt. I'm soon to be hosting a seminar and I'm scared that no one will come, or no one will enjoy it or blah blah fucking blah ... Seriously. I need to stop. Believing deeply that what you have to offer to the world is valuable and worthy is essential. If you don't believe it, how the hell do you expect anyone else to? You got the education, you perfected the product, or whatever the case may be -- get on with your bad self! What you're offering is valuable as fuck. So, don't be scuuured (P.S. In the picture below, replace anyone with yourself)
I'm 24 years old, I have a holistic nutrition diploma and I work at a retail level. Whenever I meet new people, who typically in Calgary introduce themselves as accountants, engineers or neurosurgeons, I want to crawl into the nearest hole and die. I feel grossly inadequate and embarrassed to say where I'm at in life. I usually blush, inaudibly mumble my response and change the subject. But you know what? No one has ever scoffed, or wiped their hand off after shaking my 'inferior peasant' hand. Our fear of other people's judgement is typically just a reflection of our own deep rooted insecurities and perceived short comings. If we deeply accept ourselves, we will look people in the eyes, firmly shake their hand and confidently tell them about ourselves. Love and fear can not reside together, so choose to love yourself, okay?!
Man, I could go on and on about fears, but I'm going to cap it off with one more. Money.
I know you've heard it all by now, but I'll just fill you in on where I am currently. I feel like I get paid, and spend it all in the same day. My paycheques just barely cover my bills and the stress/worry is omnipresent. I watched a video the other day; a mother of two with $8 in her account and a notice in the mail saying her electricity will be turned off was offered $5,000 with the option of giving it to a woman who just lost her father, and spent exorbitant amounts on travel for the funeral. She gave the money away saying "I lived without it yesterday and the day before, and I will be okay without it now." I was stunned by this mentality - that is living in gratitude, faith and abundance. Giving when you have nothing. If you f e a r never having enough, if you live in scarcity and beat the drum of not having enough/"I'm broke", then that story will continue to repeat itself. I've decided I'm done being afraid of arbitrary numbers floating in the banking system cyberspace. That's not what humans came here to be preoccupied by, and yet it enslaves and terrorizes the majority of us! You can't invite more by constantly acknowledging a lack. Fear gathers momentum, it snowballs. It's easy to stay in the place of always complaining, worrying and dreading. But it's time I rewrite my money story, and edit fear out.
So, who's ready to be F E A R L E S S ?
Tell me your biggest fears and how you overcome them!
No comments